Friday, April 10, 2009
Stank Gets In Your Eyes
The no-smoking-even-in-bars law is not all that great, and the reason why is this: Hipsters smell absolutely dreadful in close quarters! Especially when crammed cheek by jowl in an effort to more closely see or hear the waify temerity of some cutie-pie hipster band. They smell like beery perspiration, which is what you'd expect, I suppose, only I never knew it before because of the cigarette smoke.
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Oi vey, Davenport, what are you doing rubbing shoulders with all those gaunt-sallow, deodorant-optional indie-scenesters, swilling only the finest watery Pabst Blue Ribbon in their faded denim jeans, swaying gently to the raucous guitar distortion like so many plaid weeds in an overgrown parking lot? Was it Dive Bar Appreciation Day and no one dropped me a line? Nevermind. Despite putting on the airs and clothes of a Fin de siècle Trotsky in hand-me-down overcoats, I'm a big believer in good hygiene and better wine, and woodsy tobacco smoke over rancid cigarettes. 'Suppose I'll never be one of them.
ReplyDeleteYou didn't miss a thing, my dear Wolfram!
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